


You've Unlocked Something In Me

by MalecGirl3



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bullying, Depression, M/M, Outing, Panic Attacks, called finding audrey, i should've written so much more by now i suck, ok so they're like 17 in this k got it good, this is based off a book, those were before the story starts though, uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 12:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12682074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalecGirl3/pseuds/MalecGirl3
Summary: Alec Lightwood is messed up, to say the least. He had straight A's at school, everything was going fine, but then something not as straight as his grades was revealed. His life was tuned upside down, and despite his family supporting him, he feels alone. Unfixable.Then one of his sister's friends walks into his life. Literally. With his crinkly-eyed smile and his stupid-but-still-somehow-funny jokes, could he pull Alec out of the hole he was dug into?Or the fic based on a book I read once and decided instantly I would make a Malec fic out of it one day and, well, here I am.Also I can't do summaries for the life of me.Uh, enjoy?





	You've Unlocked Something In Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is really short cause I SUCK

Alec kept his head down as he walked through the all too familiar hallways of the children’s wing of the hospital. He pretended not to hear the people calling out greetings. _Another day._ He sighed as he continued to walk down the hall, watching his feet hit the ground in a repetitive motion through his dark glasses. _Echo, no echo, echo._

After a few minutes of walking - he wasn’t sure, he never kept track of the time - he reached the bright blue door that led to his destination. He looked up at the gold letters ( _Catarina Loss, Therapist),_ breathed in, and pushed open the door.

“Hello there sweetie,” the sugary sweet toned doctor said, but her voice screamed _‘You are disabled, therefore I have to talk nice.’_ Alec forced a smile as he took a seat across from the nurse. “Anything wrong today, sweetie?” She asked, and he shook his head. “N-no, not today Doctor Catarina.” He mumbled. _Jesus, just stop with the ‘sweetie’._ The doctor asks the same questions to the point where Alec knows what's coming. _How do you feel today. Blah blah blah, same old corny shit._ He liked Catarina, but sometimes the questions felt a bit too intruding, and he didn’t always answer them truthfully.

“What do you want to do today, Alec?”

 _I want to die, that’s what_ **_,_ ** he thought, though aloud he said, “Um, maybe make some more cupcakes?”

That wasn’t too far from the truth, making cupcakes was something he did often here, so often he could do it with his eyes closed (though he didn’t, he was quite clumsy after all). It was the same recipe every time, though the repetition calmed him. It was nice to have something definite when his life seemed to be fraying apart at the edges.

After finishing the questions (and the cupcakes), he walked out of the therapy. His thoughts swirled in his head. _I want someone. I need someone. Someone who truly understands what it feels like to suffer like this._

_~~~~~~_

Around an hour later, Alec arrived at his at his house. He smiled as he walked inside. _Home sweet home. Wifi. Food. Life._ He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see messages from his friends. They weren't really friends, they were just people he found on the internet. He called them friends, even though he's never seen their faces or heard their voices but it made him feel at home. He liked having friends he didn’t have to talk to, it stopped him from stressing over the fact that he had to socialise. It made him feel ok to just leave and not speak for a period of time, and they would be ok with it. He opened Discord and clicked on the chatroom he shared with his friends from Brooklyn _(The Anxieteens)_. He smiled as his friends welcomed him in.

 **AlecFrightwood:** and he returns yet again!

 **ClaryBerry:** hey alec!!

 **TheSiMomFriend TM**   **:** welcome back! did you make cupcakes?

 **AlecFrightwood:** too many

 **AlecFrightwood:** and how was your day over there?

They spoke (or more accurately, texted) for a while, before Alec realised the time. _8:47pm._

 **AlecFrightwood:** sorry to be the one to stop the party but i gotta go get ready to sleep now

 **AlecFrightwood:** cat told me i need to go to bed by 9

 **TheSiMomFriend** **TM** **:** that’s ok. goodnight!

 **ClaryBerry:** sleep tight!

 **AlecFrightwood:** don’t let the bedbugs bite :))))

Alec turned off his phone, placing it next to his bed. A small smile appeared on his face, _I wonder what they look like in real life?_ Alec laid on his bed and closed his eyes, slowly falling into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~~

 _Bing. Bing._ Alec woke up to the sound of messages going off. He sighed, grabbing his phone while still laying in bed. He missed his phone, knocking stuff off the bedside table but successfully finds it. He awkwardly held his phone up to the ceiling, opening up the messages.

 **ClaryBerry:** hey alec, wanna come over my place this afternoon?

 **ClaryBerry:** simon will be there too

Alec sat up, staring at the phone screen. _Oh._ _No._ He put down his phone and covered his face with his hands. _What do I say?_ He didn’t want to go, he could barely walk to the hospital sometimes. And that would help him!

 **AlecFrightwood:** sorry but i can’t. mom wants me to look after max this afternoon

It wasn’t a _complete_ lie, he did have to look after Max, but that was tomorrow. _They don’t have to know that._

He got dressed (including the glasses) and went downstairs to the kitchen. He was pouring a bowl of cereal when Izzy walked in.

“Good morning, big brother,” she said, plopping down into the seat across from his.

“Good morning,” Alec put down the cereal box and looked up through his glasses at his sister. “You’ve come to tell me something, haven’t you?”

Izzy took a breath, looking down. “Well, I’m gonna have a friend over this afternoon, and I just wanted to warn you so you don’t… you know…” She trailed off, looking down. She never said the word aloud, for reasons unknown to Alec. Was it because of him?

Alec couldn’t help but sigh. “Panic, yeah, I know. Don’t worry, I’ll stay out of the way. As long as they don’t come into the den.”

The den was where only Alec was allowed, it was his safe place. It was the one place where he could sit with the door and curtains closed, and remain in (almost) complete silence and darkness.

“I’ll make sure he won’t. I’m going to go get ready now. Goodbye!”

Alec closed his eyes - not that anyone could see - and put his face in his hands again. He was so distracted by his own thoughts that he didn’t notice when Max walked - or more, skipped - in.

“Hi ‘Lec!” Alec looked down to see his little brother looking up at him, a battered orange blanket trailing behind him, grasped at one corner in one of his tiny hands.

“Hey Max,” Alec picked up his little brother and placed him in his lap, lifting up his glasses to look into his eyes.

Max was one of the few - if not the only - people Alec was completely comfortable with. Maybe it was because he was so young - four-year-olds were rarely panic-inducing. Maybe it was because he understood. Maybe it was because he didn’t.

Whatever it was, Alec was grateful that he had Max. That he had _someone._ Someone who wasn’t Catarina, or Izzy or Jace or Clary or Simon. He was grateful for them too, but he couldn’t reveal himself to them as much as he could to Max. Alec gently placed Max on the ground, ruffling his hair. “Come on Max, let's make cupcakes.”


End file.
